yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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