i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize