SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize