Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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