y did u give ur computer a hand job?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had to cum in my sink.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize