it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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