It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize