god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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