Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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