Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize