I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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