And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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