that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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