I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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