When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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