woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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