the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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