So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize