You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize