Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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