Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
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I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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