I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
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I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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