my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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