In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize