You can't motorboat a personality
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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