garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
do nipples grow back?
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