the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize