Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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