standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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