Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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