dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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