Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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