last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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