put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize