So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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