Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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