please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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