if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize