my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize