you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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