saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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