every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
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Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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