Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup. http://tfl.nu/ddou
  Replies (10) Good night (3073) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3015) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/usna
  Replies (12) Good night (2395) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God. http://tfl.nu/onhi
  Replies (16) Good night (3055) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call http://tfl.nu/9cld
  Replies (66) Good night (1261) Bad night (5033) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4480) Bad night (1621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good. http://tfl.nu/6afw
  Replies (30) Good night (8046) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1080) Bad night (3105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2217) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb
  Replies (17) Good night (1611) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you. http://tfl.nu/q3ie
  Replies (29) Good night (4996) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk. http://tfl.nu/wgbm
  Replies (9) Good night (1614) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'? http://tfl.nu/6ned
  Replies (7) Good night (1455) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt

Randomize