weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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