the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I sprained my soul last night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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