dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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