"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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