I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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