So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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