Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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